Jul. 26th, 2012

callistra: Fuschia from Sinfest crying her heart out next to Hell's flames (Default)
Does any one else have a disconnect between their bodies and their brains?

I know I am not the only one, but is it common? Rare? Something we just don't talk about?

I have always been very attached to my computers, and the more I seek to hide from something, the more I escape into my PC or books. I hide from my kids on my pc, and cope with difficult situations by hitting my games. I've been aware of this as an issue for some time, but I know this is a coping mechanism. That and eating! I don't want to mess with coping mechanisms until I have sorted out why that thing is a coping mechanism, made a conscious choice about trying to change it to something else, and have that something else already sorted out.

There's two sides to my computer use though - one use is throwing myself into something mindless to hide/process, and the other is an engaged use of the pc, using my brains and keeping my thought processes active. IE, writing novels, reports, blog posts, reading critical articles, etc etc etc. I want to keep one use but I keep sliding over into the other use. Castleville was a nice balance of monotonous stuff mixed with slightly engaging stuff. These days it's a never ending cycle of waiting 18 hours so i can ask my friends for crap... which leads me to believe my time with CV is drawing to an end. But my addiction to FB games and what this brings me is not the focus of today's blog. :)

Back to the disconnect. I'm talking about it now because the other big use of my pc is connection with my friends. If I didn't have my friends on chat, instantly available to me, then I'd actually have to leave the house to remain in touch with the rest of humanity. The instant messenger addiction is both a blessing and a curse - a blessing for keeping me happy, and a curse for tying me to the PC in yet another way. I have my iphone now, and I see the tangled tentacles reaching out to me from everywhere.

I want to be connected, but I guess with all things, moderation is key. But is it? I wonder if maybe we're viewing life from the wrong end, that the only meaning is to be determined by the relationships we form and develop and the love we nourish, and as such my connections via chat are a physical manifestation of my drive to love and connect? Oh, if any one wants to find me on a chat, try looking for xenadoll at hotmail dot com, I am on most of them using that email address. :)

I miss chatting while I write my novels. Just having someone there, a few keystrokes away while I write was just lovely, like someone holding my hand while I worked. I miss that.

So, does any one else have this disconnect, and do they view it as a good thing or a bad thing? Is it healthy to have our psyches shaped by the 'shiny!' factor of talking to your friends all day long instead of being 'productive' in terms of social expectations?


callistra: Fuschia from Sinfest crying her heart out next to Hell's flames (Default)

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