Aug. 23rd, 2012

callistra: Fuschia from Sinfest crying her heart out next to Hell's flames (Default)
Health
Still sick. Any one surprised? However the flu is finally retreating, but leaving in it's wake an allergy to the cold and flu tablets I was taking, a very messy period, problems breathing, a sore throat, a dreadful cough and runny nose. I so sexy! So over all I am feeling *better* but each of the smaller things is taking its toll, and I had a melt down this morning when I couldn't breathe without coughing for about half an hour. I tried all sorts of things but in the end a hot shower for an awfully long time worked, which didn't fit in with my plans to try and catch up on some of last night's sleep. So now I have an appointment to meet the new Dr at our clinic. I hope he's nice, I am rather leery of doctors. Every one says to look aftermyself, and I am trying, but of course it has to come after I look after every one else first... and it's just a bad luck conjunction of stuff that meant John couln't stay home to look after me this week.

Other Stuff
There's other stuff? Really? Hmmm. My house is a mess, both kids are at school, and I have been really really sick. I got nothing beyond that!

Vulnerability
Vulnerability isn't comfortable but it is a necessity. People think I am strong (and sometimes I agree with them LOL) but when I have to be vulnerable it can be a problem because I can't articulate what I need well. I have times when i can't talk, other times where I can talk but just nothing complex, and times when I need to lie still and not move but things still have to be done and it's easier that I just do it than try to wade throgh obligations and manners and ask for someone else to do it. But sometimes I just fall into a heap and need some one to cry on. And that's the important thing for me, I think. To occasionally let myself give in to the wild abandon of just saying "fuck it all, I don't care" for a little while. Though when you're crying and there's a worrying wheeze when you can't breathe... this may not be the best way to handle the not coping LOL Here's the lovely Brene Brown to talk about vulnerabilty.




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callistra: Fuschia from Sinfest crying her heart out next to Hell's flames (Default)
callistra

April 2015

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