Sep. 5th, 2012

callistra: Fuschia from Sinfest crying her heart out next to Hell's flames (Default)
Good god, what is it with today?

Don't tell any one. I have a sore throat. :(

Dear gods, not *that* discussion again. I know people mean well, but seriously, do they think before they spout the whole "if women were more aware of their surroundings and wore decent clothes, they'd get raped less!" REALLY? I don't know any one who doesn't already do their best to keep their heads above water in rape culture. From holding your keys in your hand when walking to your car (so you can fight back better) through to any number of miniscule ways, does he REALLY think that what we wear and where we go makes that much difference? Especially when a comment or two before he completely agrees that most rapes are by acquaintances? I've asked him to stop this line of discussion, or else go away and learn more before he continues it. I hope that's enough. I don't want to delete or shut down the whole discussion as my friends have done a very good job at poking holes in his points, but this is making my Flist a little bit unsafe, which I don't like. I know a lot of my friends have different ideas and thoughts to me (which is why they are my friends!) but the one thing I need from every one is the ability to either actively listen, or just not engage. I hope he doesn't get cranky at me about it, but tough. I do wonder if I've waited too long before I said anything, but every one else seemed to be handling the discussion well. I also wanted to point out that it's not my or my friends' jobs to educate him about this sort of thing, and that there's heaps of resources on the net if he wants to try and figure out why we're arguing with him, but I didn't. Can only say so much on FB after all.

I got an interesting comment on my Random Ramble the other day. Here it is:

I don't understand why people are sending you *hugs*. You drank to excess while responsible for children. Even worse, your mother put them in the bath while she too was heavily under the influence. What if your children had suddenly become ill - or even worse. You are an adult - your problems don't matter when you have children. That's just how it is.

Well, that's true. That is just how it is. However, I expect my friends are sending me hugs because my post was more about my feelings about unexpectedly losing control. Also, I think most of my friends are aware of my control freak nature, and know that when I do usually lose control, it's in a carefully controlled situation! I am feeling unsettled and surprised and uncomfortable with what happened. That is why they are sending me hugs.

Your comments are changing the focus of my post from me to my kids, and that's OK. If you're really that worried, Dad wasn't drinking and was there with me and Mum the whole day, and my husband was also there for most of it, and he was drinking much much much less. (He had about 2 glasses of champagne, and then stopped.) Not that it's any of your business though I thank you for your concern.

Also, my problems aren't your concern either, this is my blog. It's biased, one sided, self absorbed, and mine. If my children suddenly become ill, then depending on the nature of the problem, we will respond as we see fit. Dad is more than capable of making decisions when Mum is unwell, and all the other adults in our life are also more than capable of ensuring I, and my children, survive their childhood.

Also, I sometimes need to experience something before I actually learn from it. I don't know why you think the words "I have never had a three hour black out before" equates to "I totally drink to excess all the time and I blacked out once again for a solid three hour block!" but I hope my response has answered all your concerns.


callistra: Fuschia from Sinfest crying her heart out next to Hell's flames (Default)

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