Oct. 22nd, 2012

callistra: Fuschia from Sinfest crying her heart out next to Hell's flames (Default)
Health
Went to the gym today! Mostly because I am premenstrual and retaining water, and I wanted to zone out while walking. It is just easier to do that at the gym! walked for 25 minutes before I got too bored. Managed to put on 2 kilos this week! I expect it's water weight from period and a big weekend, but dammit! :)

I have no idea what I am going to write about this morning LOL I even had some worked out in my head with great titles and everything! Ah well! :)

Today is a Bit of an Odd Day
And I can't even put my finger on it exactly. Wasn't too cranky, given that some PMT days I am ragey, mostly I was just sort of ... inwards and slightly negative. Most of that seems to have lifted after the gym. I have taken three of the magnesium tablets and just had some cruskits with pate to increase my nutrition for the day. (The pate and carbs can help ease some of my symptoms as well as the magnesium tablets say to take 3 for PMT symptoms, and since I already take 2 a day it's not that much of a leap to take one more.) 

Ponderings
I have been pondering on a number of things lately, and I realise I have been feeling like I have let something go. I like conscious decisions about the important things in my life, but I feel like at some point my grasp on my life has slipped, and rather than me buffetting the world, the world is buffetting me. It's time for me to stop and think, and effectively regroup before I start any real work on any big projects. Still thinking very hard about the getting a job issue, as well as the moving house issue, and being PMTy on top of that has been... annoying. To put it mildly. I am still feeling out the shape of next year, I think, but having to do it in different terms from what I am used to.

I do wonder sometimes, what is my urgency? Why am I always in such a hurry? What do I think will happen if I don't hurry, or if I let things go? What could I let go? Is this the shape I want things to be?

I spent about twenty minutes sitting outside and just letting my thoughts ramble. I think I need to do this again and again until I find my central balance again. I need to find the magic words to bring the quietness in. I need to start creating again, rather than just being created.

callistra: Fuschia from Sinfest crying her heart out next to Hell's flames (Default)
... and then everything felt normal again.

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callistra: Fuschia from Sinfest crying her heart out next to Hell's flames (Default)
callistra

April 2015

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