callistra: Fuschia from Sinfest crying her heart out next to Hell's flames (Default)
Well, yesterday was a busy day!

People are Strange
So I posted on FB yesterday saying I didn't want to be alone, but that it was OK. Someone pinged me later and said "Ok, I'll bite, why are you feeling isolated?" and I was like WTF? Because, a) I didn't say I was feeling isolated, I said I was feeling alone, which are very different things. Isolation means I feel I can't access my friends or family at a time where I need to, whereas alone just means without the company I'd like. Mostly, I felt like I wanted to spend time with Chesh because there's some very large thoughts going down around here, and I wanted to talk to him about them. However, every one invited me over for lunch and coffee so I ended up spending a lot of time yesterday talking to people other than Chesh about my thoughts and ideas about the move, and that was awesome.

And B) You'll bite? Really? You think I post on FB just to bait people into talking to me? Really? *tries to look even more disblieving* How about you actually preface the comment with some words that might indicate you actually care, especially since you seem to think I was feeling isolated (which, on the scale of things, seemed to cause more worry in you than alone did) where as opening with "I'll bite" is just ... annoying.

Got another one today too.
"I was wondering how you're going with this..."
Really? It's so hard to say "Hey, where are you with this task?" I was wondering how you phrase your emails like that, but, you know, I'm not about to email back "Well, I was wondering about doing the task but then I started wondering about playing facebook games and before I knew it I was wondering about replying to your email and lo and behold nothing ever got done!" If I was seriously premenstrual (read: viewing the world through a haze of hate and anger) then I may have responded... but since I don't seem to be too premenstrual, I shall translate from passive aggressive into real communication and work from there.

>.>

Ok, maybe I am a leeetle premenstrual? But in a fun way? Maybe? LOL

The Project
Talked to lots of people yesterday, and also talked lots to Chesh yesterday. Yay talking! I have ideas. But first, the data collection. I need to start with how much is this house worth, to sell or rent, and get some info on that. Next stage will be info from the banks about how much we can potentially borrow, and the third stage of Data will be examining and critiquing our budget and starting a fitness regime for our spending habits. We're both pretty excited about this now, and so hoping there will be some real progress. :)

I Didn't Want To Be Alone
because I don't want to be the only one making all the decisions and home building that this is going to entail. It's going to take so much work, and I want Chesh to be on board and aware of the stuff we/I are going to need to look into and address. I bought this house here, Chesh didn't even see it until after we had put in an offer on it. He was OK with that - we just decided at the time that he didn't want to make the time/trusted me to do pick a good enough house. We still love the house and will be sad to see it go, but the original plan was to only be here until the kids were about 10 - 12, and then move. So we move it forward a few years. :) So, first step is Data. Then we need to start considering other issues, such as my getting a job, how much savings we will need to organize, picking a new suburb, listing the important, urgent, and wish-for lists for the new house, and also finding out what houses are like these days. There's will have been 13 years worth of new houses built since I last looked at house hunting, so I am pretty excited to see what is out there now. Chesh was pretty shocked to discover that most newish houses don't have double brick outer walls. I have no opinions on that!

- ring three real estate agents and arrange quotes
- play on realestate.com.au to check out local rents
- sort out Vin's specialist appointment
- WASFF minutes
- Refund for Blood glucose monitor
- email lawyers (and find letter from them)
- dishes
- cleaning
- colouring in/drawing with J
- Start a notebook for The Project
- eat lunch
- play with ipad apps for health and fitness
- check out Sandy's email
- enjoy sunshine for a bit
 
Last word... thought some more about determined vs stubborn. Determined is where you choose your path, and it's difficult to sway you. Stubborn is where someone else chooses your path, and you choose not to be swayed.

Oooo, deep! LOL
*hugs* to every one!

Date: 2012-10-17 09:10 am (UTC)From: [personal profile] prk
prk: (Default)
Out of curiousity, what is it about the "I was wondering'" approach which comes off badly?

I ask as I use the "I was wondering how you were going with ..." a fair bit at work.

When I use it, it loosely means "I haven't forgotten you said you'd do X, and whilst it's not urgent right now, it may become so in the future, so this is just a gentle reminder that it's on your plate to do, and I'd love an estimate or update or anything to reassure me you haven't forgotten about it and it's still going to get done."

When something is approaching (but not quite at) urgent is when I move up to "Where are you at with X".

Perhaps whomever used the line with you has a similar approach?

*hugs from Melbourne*

prk.

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callistra: Fuschia from Sinfest crying her heart out next to Hell's flames (Default)
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