Aug. 15th, 2012

callistra: Fuschia from Sinfest crying her heart out next to Hell's flames (Default)
Gym it baby!
Did some 45 minutes of walking on 5.5% slope at 4kphs. Yes, it's a programme, and you know what? I don't care. :) I just zoned out and absorbed 7 TCs worth of random crappy advertisements, TV shows and cultural crap for 45 minutes. Does this mean I just watched the equivalent of 315 minutes of TV? Seriously, BB is better than all of the crap that was on this morning. Which leads me into...

Big Brother
Big Brother has started! Yay! Kind of found it hard to maintain enthusiasm for the first show. They did try, but eh. I dislike using gender as a card in these games. It's kind of like... they have no creativity to try something different. Why couldn't it be a non-gendered group trying to find out the secrets of the gendered group? What are we learning from this? Why, nothing, I expect LOL but hey, we don't watch this to learn things. Do we? Do we? I rather liked Michael. He looks like someone that would be fun to be cooped up with for twelve weeks. His hair looks a bit fake though! But yeah, I wonder if they are setting him up to win, since he had lots of personality and lots of camera time. Who knows?

BB Secrets
I liked the idea, not so enthused with the execution. Did consider doing a daily match of secret to possible person from the TV footage, but since I never watch it at night, I didn't really see the point. I'm kind of starting to wonder if I have time to slide another obsession into my life right now. I think my Obsessive Card might be a tad full.

On Writing
Have been thinking about the direction I want to take Saucy Sarahs. I've been waiting for some things to come together, and been very distracted with stuff going on at home, but it's time for me to get my A into G. I am thinking maybe it's time to do something like the random rambles for SS, but I would like to pick the name first. Currently considering Cooking Colloquies or Perky Percolations. I feel a bit guilty though, as Perky is a word I associate with Prky. I am sure if I asked nicely, he wouldn't mind though. Perky Percolations mixes a lot of my favourite things - coffee, happiness, laughter, and thinking. I think I have made my choice. Stay tuned for more details LOL

Launch and Learn! 
I am getting a bit frustrated that I am always practicing and not really putting things out there. I am enjoying my random rambles, and I am hoping to keep doing them for ever. But here's my favourite inspirational video of the moment. This chick is hot! And awesome! *loves*

Every point she makes is fabulous and she has the most amazing eyes. In the theory of launch and learn, I'll probably let my ebook loose and see if any one likes it. I played beforehand with giving it away in exchange for joining a mailing list, and then advertising it on FB. It was really interesting to see the stats and advertising and the different things that people click on and where they end up. People have told me before that they want to support me somehow, so I am working hard to put something out for them to do so!

I should try and make a new ebook to give away. I have considered using my reworked Writers Of The Future story as a fundraiser for NAFF, selling it for 99cents or something, though I have heard rumours that as a fundraiser it should be about $5. Would any of you pay $5 for a short story if 100% of proceeds go to NAFF? It would also mean I get to play with the form and format of my precarious mommyblogger empire I am building... LOL I have lots of ideas for the future!

Dammit why aren't I rich yet?? LOL Hurry up, Universe, BRING ME CASH! Yay!

Life and Love
We had an interesting chat on Monday night about love and what people say versus what they mean. And you know, love is one of those tricky things that's messy and complex and heartfelt and yet shaped by the societies we have around us. When we sit down and begin to critically examine the semiotics of love and relationships and what they mean, it's apparent that our culture is scrabbling around in the dark just as much as we are. So many rules! So much hardship! When we love, we have all these expectations and understandings, and yet in the end what does it mean? Being in love is supposed to be followed by the engagement, the wedding, the white picket fence, the children... except every single step of that progression is broken and problematic. It's a great idea. As a concept goes, within the current framework of our culture, it's a concept that has some value... not as much value as it used to, and there's a generational struggle going on in our private lives as people sit back and examine what they want, what they do, and what is expected. Far more people these days than I ever imagined define themselves as poly, and almost every single one does it a different way. Removing the expectations of the progressive chain of love-->children, what's left?

Maybe the answer is loving happiness. Maybe it's not. What do you think is left? So many of my Flist have had to make very hard decisions about who they are and how they define themselves against the culture we live in. We have meaningful, awesome lives which stand out because we're not typical. Do we take pleasure in our non-typical selves because the only other option is misery? Or because there's some inherent pleasure in using our selves and gifts any which way we please? I believe there's pleasure in using our gifts and being who we choose to be. When we are forced to do those two things, there's no pleasure in it any more. Allowing ourselves to flower and be beautiful is very different from being forced to bloom and perform.

We find ways of balancing what people want from us with what we want from ourselves, and we shape our lives as best we can. Could there ever be a human society in which every member was fulfilled and happy, using all of their talents and gifts and being whomever they choose to be? I'm not actually sure that we'd even be human by then - we make things hard for ourselves sometimes. Even when life is perfect, we find ways to be miserable. Maybe we're born to struggle. Maybe we're not supposed to be happy at all. *shrug*

We only get one life to live, and this life, dammit, I am taking for all it's worth. Love, respect, adoration. Boundaries, communication, emotions. Sometimes, I really am drunk on life.

Spellchecker Wisdom
gicing things away is not the same as giving. Not. :)


callistra: Fuschia from Sinfest crying her heart out next to Hell's flames (Default)

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