don't tell your women friends how to be safe and avoid rape.

I don't think telling women to be aware and prepared is the same thing as blaming them when it happens. Attacking the rape-culture mindset is good, in my opinion, but no matter how hard we come down on crime, and no matter how much energy we put into changing popular mindset, there will always be people who think they're better than the law. Best to be prepared for them. I encourage self-defense training, but in America, I also encourage women to buy guns. (Admittedly, I don't know if that's legal in Australia or not.)