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Baby Forums
I am learning heaps about myself by reading baby forums. I have also come to the realisation, that this may be the most contact I have ever had with "normal" women.
I just read a thread about a woman who wants a fourth child, and her husband doesn't. All the replies so far have been encouraging her to work on him and discuss it with him and explain her desperation for a fourth child. I'm thinking... Whoa, hang on a sec here, what about HIS point of view? You know, they married EACH OTHER. Another child is another life changing decision. It's huge. Sure, you've done it three times before, so you have an idea of what's it all about (how weird, John is wearing my shoes behind me. Weird.) but that just means you can make a better, more informed, decision.
And what's so wrong with him just not wanting more children? I started ranting about this on the forum, but then put my hands in the air and backed away slowly. Feminism isn't just changing societal and masculine attitudes; it's also changing female attitudes, to get them OUT of the ruts they think they are in. The chickie in question also made a comment that her husband seemed to know her cycle better than she did and said that accidentally on purpose falling pregnant was out of the question.
Say what??? Of course it's out of the question - it's an abuse of trust with the person you have chosen to spend your life with. It's LYING to them. It's getting what YOU want at the expense of your PARTNER IN LIFE. I am finding english to not be vitriolic enough in my disgust at the mere thought of women doing this to their partners. Genuine accidents do happen. But making an accident happen by putting holes in condoms, forgetting your pill intentionally, whatever, is lying to yourself, and your partner, and I don't know how such selfish women could live with themselves.
I support the right of any person to make informed and sound decisions. I support the right for every one to have every opportunity to for sane, healthy living and happiness. This means I am a feminist. This means I support many things that I, personally, would never do. It means I disagree with any person trying to legislate, judge, trick, cheat, or force others into any behaviour they do not wish to persue. And it doesn't matter to me whether they are male, female, transgendered, transexual, kinky, black, white, yellow, or blue.
Hmm. The things you learn by reading your own replies before you post them. *grin*
I just read a thread about a woman who wants a fourth child, and her husband doesn't. All the replies so far have been encouraging her to work on him and discuss it with him and explain her desperation for a fourth child. I'm thinking... Whoa, hang on a sec here, what about HIS point of view? You know, they married EACH OTHER. Another child is another life changing decision. It's huge. Sure, you've done it three times before, so you have an idea of what's it all about (how weird, John is wearing my shoes behind me. Weird.) but that just means you can make a better, more informed, decision.
And what's so wrong with him just not wanting more children? I started ranting about this on the forum, but then put my hands in the air and backed away slowly. Feminism isn't just changing societal and masculine attitudes; it's also changing female attitudes, to get them OUT of the ruts they think they are in. The chickie in question also made a comment that her husband seemed to know her cycle better than she did and said that accidentally on purpose falling pregnant was out of the question.
Say what??? Of course it's out of the question - it's an abuse of trust with the person you have chosen to spend your life with. It's LYING to them. It's getting what YOU want at the expense of your PARTNER IN LIFE. I am finding english to not be vitriolic enough in my disgust at the mere thought of women doing this to their partners. Genuine accidents do happen. But making an accident happen by putting holes in condoms, forgetting your pill intentionally, whatever, is lying to yourself, and your partner, and I don't know how such selfish women could live with themselves.
I support the right of any person to make informed and sound decisions. I support the right for every one to have every opportunity to for sane, healthy living and happiness. This means I am a feminist. This means I support many things that I, personally, would never do. It means I disagree with any person trying to legislate, judge, trick, cheat, or force others into any behaviour they do not wish to persue. And it doesn't matter to me whether they are male, female, transgendered, transexual, kinky, black, white, yellow, or blue.
Hmm. The things you learn by reading your own replies before you post them. *grin*
no subject
they usually freak
you dont go "oops"
so id like to see them fake the real reaction
no subject
I had an IUD inserted without his knowledge (with the tail cut short so he couldn't feel it, thanks to my obliging obgyn)when the third baby was six weeks old, and threw him out six weeks after that, when I'd recovered from the birth enough to cope.
Interestingly, when I talked to my obgyn about wanting contraception my partner couldn't detect, he said lots of women asked him for the same thing.