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I feel... I feel quite sad (to the tune of some covenant song that i can't find the name to)
What a grueling day. Funeral was at 2:30, but the showing for family members (read children and grandchildren was at 2:00. I touched Granddad, and while Mum hugged me I wept and told him I was sorry that he had been so scared, so frightened. But I know there wasn't anything I could have done to make him less fearful.
It's 12:44. I've been drinkign since about 4 inthe afternoon. Things to remember about funerals: 1) don't buy shitty wine 2) get a wine drinker to select the wine 3) decent sized wine glasses would cut down on the refill requests, and 4) FUCKING BUY SOME DECENT SHIT. Now, seeing as I like to drink $10 a box wine, I'm amused by the fact that I'm whinging about the wine.
But anyway. We left the nonwhine drinkers at about 6ish and came home, and by seven I was at Mum's, drinking Madfish, which is a nice white. Then we moved onto Swancon wine, which was also welcome.
It's 12:48, and John is looking grey and just popped up in the kitchen,. So, I guesds i won't even start on the rest of tonight, and talk about it tomorrow. Hopefully, I will remewmber all this tomorrow. I got questioned and queried and quizzed about things, and they were good points. I told epople I need them to argue with me, that I need them to tellwhen I am talking out of my ass, and that I have utopian views which clash with my realistic views. But anyway, I need some sleep.
*sorrow*
I feel.... sorrow. A part of me dies, and a part of me is reborn. And it hurts. Mere dots on a screen can never portray that.
Goodbye grandad. I loved you. I'm so glad you got to know vinnie. I miss you. I missed you years ago.
It's 12:44. I've been drinkign since about 4 inthe afternoon. Things to remember about funerals: 1) don't buy shitty wine 2) get a wine drinker to select the wine 3) decent sized wine glasses would cut down on the refill requests, and 4) FUCKING BUY SOME DECENT SHIT. Now, seeing as I like to drink $10 a box wine, I'm amused by the fact that I'm whinging about the wine.
But anyway. We left the nonwhine drinkers at about 6ish and came home, and by seven I was at Mum's, drinking Madfish, which is a nice white. Then we moved onto Swancon wine, which was also welcome.
It's 12:48, and John is looking grey and just popped up in the kitchen,. So, I guesds i won't even start on the rest of tonight, and talk about it tomorrow. Hopefully, I will remewmber all this tomorrow. I got questioned and queried and quizzed about things, and they were good points. I told epople I need them to argue with me, that I need them to tellwhen I am talking out of my ass, and that I have utopian views which clash with my realistic views. But anyway, I need some sleep.
*sorrow*
I feel.... sorrow. A part of me dies, and a part of me is reborn. And it hurts. Mere dots on a screen can never portray that.
Goodbye grandad. I loved you. I'm so glad you got to know vinnie. I miss you. I missed you years ago.
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Been there, done that, last year.
Things get better and the pain lessens. Go ahead and cry as much as you want for now.
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Bec
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