callistra: Fuschia from Sinfest crying her heart out next to Hell's flames (Default)
So, I went shopping today. I also watched 2 eps of xena, and continued to crochet while doing it. Win win win!I bought lights for the rangehood (been dark there for about 3 or so years now), a gold wedding ring which *doesn't* slip off, and it's my wedding ring, as a sign of my self-wedding and importantce of self... self importance perhaps? LOL and some very cute frocks in a size I have purchased before, but it still surprises me. 

The last few weeks I've been sick on and off, and a lot of that has made me unaware of my body, and the rather surprising discover that I'd lost 1.5 kilos in a week came as a nasty shock. I know it's not much more than the current flow of a kilo a week, but it still freaked me out a bit. I've also done a bit of a clean out of my wardrobe, because I have lost 5 inches off my bust. All of my favourite tops tended to be low cut. They sit so low down now I could show you my scars. This has made me very unhappy. I'm bouncing back - I think part of the mood was the general awfulness of the virus I had picked up, and the aches and pains that came with that, on top of a weird migrainey thing which knocked me out for about 2 days. I know I should be instantly happy to have lost all this weight. I know I should be instantly happy that my body is changing and different things look different on me.

But a part of me doesn't like it. I like who I am, and I have always liked my body. I love my body. But five inchess off my bust? I think I have finally decided I want to sit down and cry! Anyway, I just thought it was interesting that I would freak out as my body changed so much. I didn't expect it the first time - or the second time, and what, we're onto the third time now? Whatevs.

But anyway, I bought a gorgeous new frock which makes me feel immeasurably better. I wanted to wear it out of the shop! I need a haircut and some other nonspecific beauty treatments LOL and I will be shiny for Swancon. I also started talking the sales girl into coming to Swancon. :D 
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callistra: Fuschia from Sinfest crying her heart out next to Hell's flames (Default)
callistra

October 2019

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