Fangirly

There are times I forget I am a fangirl.

There's so much going on in my life at the moment, and has been since V was born. Now there's V and J and also books 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and the rewrites of book 1, and the plan for the Nanobook, and and and and....  I forget what sometimes makes me passionate.

Tonight I returned to the arms of an old lover. Those of you who don't know who Depeche Mode are, here's the only version of their huge hit Just Can't Get Enough that I can actually bear to listen to. (It's the Schizo remix if you care.)

My favouritest ever song... well, ok, remix of a song.. I didn't actually expect to find on youtube...but I did. In Your Room, Jeep Rock Mix.  The first flirt...the first kiss...sweet summer music...warm winter music...and whimsical fancy :-)

LIstening to this... feeling the music flow like honey, smooth, slow, sweet, I remember all the reasons why I am who I am today, and what makes me Me.

I feel like I do when everything is running the way it should be again. The way it does when I'm not pregnant, or recovering from being pregnant. My energies are flowing. I am endlessly creative, the essential earth mother, an organizing freak and content.

I baked bread today, meal planned the week, cleaned the house, did the dishes, coloured in, drew pictures, read stories, chatted with friends, cooked lunch, cooked dinner, and wrote four thousand words. I gardened in the rain and welcomed to kiss of the sky.

This is how I should be. And this is how I am.