Taken from Naynay Fancy Pants

[callistra]

A lot has been said about how to prevent rape: Women should learn
self-defense, lock themselves in their houses after dark, they
shouldn't have long hair and wear short skirts, they shouldn't leave
drinks unattended. Fuck, they shouldn't dare to get drunk at all.

Instead of that bullshit, how about:

if a woman is drunk, don't rape her.
if a woman is walking alone at night, don't rape her.
if a women is drugged and unconscious, don't rape her.
if a woman is wearing a short skirt, don't rape her.
if a woman is jogging in a park at 5 am, don't rape her.
if a woman looks like your ex-girlfriend you're still hung up on, don't rape her.
if a woman is asleep in her bed, don't rape her.
if a woman is asleep in your bed, don't rape her.
if a woman is doing her laundry, don't rape her.
if a woman is in a coma, don't rape her.
if a woman changes her mind in the middle of or about a particular activity, don't rape her.
if a woman has repeatedly refused a certain activity, don't rape her.
if a woman is not yet a woman, but a child, don't rape her.
if your girlfriend or wife is not in the mood, don't rape her.
if your step-daughter is watching tv, don't rape her.
if you break into a house and find a woman there, don't rape her.

if your friend thinks it's okay to rape someone, tell him it's not, and that he's not your friend.
if your "friend" tells you he raped someone, report him to the police.
if your frat-brother or another guy at the party tells you there's an
unconscious woman upstairs and it's your turn, don't rape her, call the
police and tell the guy he's a rapist.

tell your sons, god-sons, nephews, grandsons, sons of friends it's not okay to rape someone.

don't tell your women friends how to be safe and avoid rape.
don't imply that she could have avoided it if she'd only done/not done x.
don't imply that it's in any way her fault.
don't let silence imply agreement when someone tells you he "got some" with the drunk girl.
don't perpetuate a culture that tells you that you have no control over or responsibility for
your actions. You can, too, help yourself.

If you agree, repost it. It's that important.

Comments

Worst so-called meme in 2005?

[kremmen.livejournal.com]

Talk about appalling verbal diarrhea and inaccuracy. The first 21 lines of text boil down to 3 words: "don't rape women". "Don't rape anyone" would be better.

The rest boils down to:
* Actively discourage others from rape, and report them to cops if they do
* Don't blame the victim
* "Don't tell your women friends how to be safe and avoid rape"

The whole thing can be expressed in 2 lines, and that last one is appallingly stupid advice which only helps rapists!

Re: Worst so-called meme in 2005?

[callistra.livejournal.com]

Yep. I didn't think to remove the last line. Ah well.
:-)
But sometimes I think the obvious needs to be said.

[laughingimp.livejournal.com]

don't tell your women friends how to be safe and avoid rape.

I don't think telling women to be aware and prepared is the same thing as blaming them when it happens. Attacking the rape-culture mindset is good, in my opinion, but no matter how hard we come down on crime, and no matter how much energy we put into changing popular mindset, there will always be people who think they're better than the law. Best to be prepared for them. I encourage self-defense training, but in America, I also encourage women to buy guns. (Admittedly, I don't know if that's legal in Australia or not.)

[callistra.livejournal.com]

Nah, we're not allowed to buy guns. We need a license or something. But even then, I don't think that going to a self defence class or buying a gun would really make such a huge difference. What can you do when someone has a knife at your throat, your partner's throat, someone else's throat?

Yes, there will always wrong doings like rape. But if 1,000 people post this meme, and it stops a single rape, then i think it is worthwhile. If 10,000 people post this meme and it makes someone think twice, then I think it's worthwhile.

It's certainly fomented some discussion!! :-)

[laughingimp.livejournal.com]

Do you think it will make a rapist think twice? I prefer a "hope for the best, prepare for the worst" approach.

[callistra.livejournal.com]

Yes, I follow that approach. But I also believe that if we don't make an effort to change things that are wrong, they will never be changed, now, in the future, or in a hundred years.

And rape is not as black and white as people seem to think. People don't think "Hey, there's a chick, I'll go fuck her, regardless." If it was that defintive, it would be a lot easier to tell people to stop!

There's a lot of different scenarios, and no answer can cover all of them. What happened to me, (I wasn't raped, but ... anyway) I think back now and for many many years, I just thought it was hormones, as a friend matured faster than the rest of us. But thinking about it again now, as in over the past few days, I just wonder where he picked up the idea that his actions were acceptable actions. I was clearly reluctant/saying no. So what would have happened if I had not told my mum, and she rang up and abused the crap out of him and threatened to tell his mum? And I'm not talking about a once off thing, I'm talking about a summer of consistent actions on his part.

Please don't ask questions or start asking why didn't this happen or didn't I do that... I was twelve/thirteen. (I'm not thinking you would, but other people who read this might.)

[kremmen.livejournal.com]

It 10,000 people post this and it reminds a rapist that they really disagree with it, so they do it an extra time, was it worthwhile?

The worst thing in terms of usefulness is that it doesn't give reasons, just commands. That isn't going to change people's minds. If someone already believes X, stating X 20 different ways is just annoyingly repetitive. If someone doesn't believe X, stating X 20 different ways isn't going to change their mind.

[callistra.livejournal.com]

It 10,000 people post this and it reminds a rapist that they really disagree with it, so they do it an extra time, was it worthwhile?

Well, if they are already rapists, what makes you think they weren't going to rape again anyway? I believe people try to do good of themselves. You're more than welcome to continue to believe otherwise.

So, do I think the meme is worthwhile in some way?

YES!

If it reminds some one who knows what is going on that they too can take actions, then YES!

If it allows some woman to remember that this shouldn't be happening then YES!

If it causes a guulty conscience to learn from this and try harder to teach their sons not to do the same shameful act, then YES! It's worth it!

babalon_93

[babalon-93.livejournal.com]

It 10,000 people post this and it reminds a rapist that they really disagree with it, so they do it an extra time, was it worthwhile?

are you serious? that's like suggesting that drink driving ads need to be taken off tv because what if someone thinks it is okay to drink and drive and the add makes them angry and rebel against the law instead of following it and then they have a crash and kill someone. Then it is the governments fault for taunting that person into driving while drunk?

Re: babalon_93

[kremmen.livejournal.com]

Not at all. The drink driving ads don't repeat a statement over and over again. Yes, they use a memorable phrase, once, to end the ad. They don't repeat it over and over during the ad. What the drink driving ads do is that they show, quite graphically, why drinking and driving is bad. They show the consequences. That makes sense. It educates people and tells them why it's wrong. The meme doesn't say why rape is bad, it simply states that it is, over and over and over. That's pointless.

Re: babalon_93

[ariaflame.livejournal.com]

Not to the Jason's of the world (Thief of Time ref.) who think it's not wrong because ...

Although I certainly agree with whoever pointed out that while most of the victims are women, not all are, and not all of the perpetrators are men.

I think this meme isn't aimed so much at the sick whose wiring is so out of kilter that no words are going to stop them, but at the dense of skull and full of hormones who just don't think to themselves 'is this right?'

Re: babalon_93

[kremmen.livejournal.com]

If someone is so dense of skull that a random LJ user's statements might sway them, I'll bet that what their mates say on the night will sway them even more.

IMHO, catbiscuit's comments (http://www.livejournal.com/users/zey/154752.html?thread=310912#t310912) put it pretty well.