Art, and a Thank You to Gynaecon

[callistra]

I used to be good at art. I used to like drawing and understood the theory taught in school. But somewhere along the line, I stopped appreciating and understanding art.

Maybe it had something to do with my teacher in year 10, who spent an hour abusing me and telling me what an attitude problem I had and how stupid I was and how I couldn't do art and how I was useless... but I digress.

I've liked to look at art, always. I stopped drawing though, and stopped painting or anything. I still kept the peices though. With Vincent being born, and Christmas last year, I started to do craft. I made paper chains. They were tiny paper chains. It took some work to make them all identical size and a good mix of colours. I didn't want them to look like I had just tacked them together without thought. They looked good. I also made a place setting for the table, a star theme, with a menu board. I had photos, I don't think I have posted them yet. Have I? They are purple with silver stars and mermaids. I need to practice the finish, I have bought some two-part craft resin which has a "mirror-like" finish but I am scared. I might glue me, or Vincent, to the table or a cat, and never be seperated without a painful scar (or scratching) ever again.

And I have had an image, which came to me before my women's weekend, of a sunflower. I had a lady in freo draw a sunflower on my left hand, the one I consider my giving hand, to remind me to give. A quick google shows this: A sunflower's meaning differs from culture to culture. To some, the sunflower promises power, warmth, and nourishment — all the attributes of the sun itself. I never bothered to check it out until just then. :-) It has meaning for me. It had meaning for me, and my subconscious knew it even if I did not. Tonight, I painted my sunflower in a test preparation for my mirror. And it came out exactly as I wanted it. :-)

One of the things I learnt down south was that no one is listening because I am saying the wrong things. That I am speaking, but no one is hearing. So maybe, perhaps, it's time to change the way I speak. These words are coming out all wrong. Slippery buggers. *pouts* I also learnt that I need to speak more. For a long time now, I have read, researched, thought, and acted, all alone. Within my own self, I have made discoveries and learnt many things. But now it is time for me to start talking about the right things. Something deep within me has changed. No longer do I just enjoy art. Now I think I grok it. I can see it in it's conception, and the author's desires, and the finished product, all standing in the one item. It's a symbol of a hope, a call, a message, that hopes that someone will read it in it's entirety. Every peice of artwork is the universe, the one song. A note amongst other notes, and yet at the same time, the note that IS all others. I'm suddenly much more receptive to the messages, and I am star struck at what I can now see.

I have great plans. I have great ideas. I have skills I am going to use to change the future. I'm going to hurt. But I have the astounding good luck of friends who's footsteps I can follow, who have already begun the path that I am looking at. I can work from their foundations and I can start the next construction, along side them. This is a huge thank you to the ladies of Gynaecon, who suddenly made me feel at home, when I'd really lost my vision for an unknown new one. But then it seems, that perhaps it's the same vision as before, but this time in close up detail, with colour, and a map.

Thanks again Sarah, Emma, Gina, Cathy, Fe, every one who is a part of Gynaecon. It truly is a con within a con. I don't think I'm at Swancons for the licensiousness any more. I have a sneaking feeling I'm now there for something else. And one day, maybe a con will birth a con. :-)

Comments

[babalon-93.livejournal.com]

wow, big stuff happening :)

have you read/done the artist's way (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1585421464/qid=1141741077/sr=2-1/ref=pd_bbs_b_2_1/002-6003238-6814400?s=books&v=glance&n=283155)? I have a copy if you want to check it out. It is something I keep starting or meaning to start but find it hard to keep to the program - I think it would be really useful to do it with a small group. Even though I haven't stuck with it the entire way through yet there have been exercises that I have kept up and found really useful in the long term.

Another book I found really useful for unlocking squashed creativity has been drawing on the right side of the brain (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0874774241/sr=8-1/qid=1141741009/ref=pd_bbs_1/002-6003238-6814400?%5Fencoding=UTF8) (of which I also have a copy you are welcome to borrow).

[callistra.livejournal.com]

I am extremely interested in group art at the moment. I do, however, have a reading list a mile long right now. But I will have to borrow it off you before September I think!!

[redbraids.livejournal.com]

That is wonderful that you are finding your artistic self again, in whatever form that takes. Art exists in many mediums, and a lot is about finding what medium it is that allows you to best express your art, whether writing or drawing or con creating.

Bec

[mynxii.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

i didn't make it to much of gyneacon, but the bits i got to i loved.

i've spent a lot of time recently listening, and in very small one on one situations discussing...

i admire your return and embracing of art, i truly think you will continue to change the world around you.

you are a force of nature, and someone i love and respect, someone whom continually inspires me.

I hope someday to inspire others as you have in turn reached out to me, as others in this same and similar circle, have reached out to me.

[kpbarker.livejournal.com]

Here is what I was sensing, pretty huge stuff happening *grins* But good good stuff by the sounds of it. Remember you can accomplish anything because within you is the spark of the divine :)

I would love to see your art work :) And we still need to have that get together and chat :)

[baby-elvis.livejournal.com]

I too am always scared of what others will say about my art. Not helped by having a brother who is a professional art historian/critic/curator with a very biting sarcastic tone for that which does not meet his standards. Not that he's ever seen my work or would be mean, but I can still hear his voice in my head when I think about my art.

And you are most welcome, re gynaecon. It was my fondest dream to make it a space where no-one felt forced to do or be anything, but where it was safe to take risks when ready.

[lilysea.livejournal.com]

I am looking forward to seeing your art! (:

Ditto on you may find _The Artist's Way_ interesting.

[emma-in-oz.livejournal.com]

I admire you for searching for your creativity. I believe it is incredibly hard to put part of yourself out there as an artist or to acknowledge the validity of a whole range of difference forms of art. Go you!