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Well yesterday was a write off basically. I had a lot of fun, there was a lot of good food too (thanks ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
mynxii and saw some people and heard some music....but I really just should have stayed at home and stared at the walls instead of nightclubbing and staring at the walls. :-)
As the first day of my period, I usually are in a fair amount of pain and can't live without my Asproclear within easy grasp. However, yesterday had very little pain, and no asproclear. The payoff was, though, that I was in the vortex. I was basically unable to cope with the real world, and once again I kind of wish I had cancelled everything for myself, sent cheshire out into the big bad world (I am suremynxii would have looked after him :-) and just sat around at home and stared at the walls. And if I danced, it made me sick, and I'd dissappear for a while trying to cope with that too. Spacing out in odd places in public is not fun, but could be if I was in a relaxed, comforting environment. I wonder what truths I would have learnt, what knowledge I have missed, and feel I did not appreciate the gift that this vortex should have been. I am a bad pagan, bad! Spanky spanky! Ah well, next time, if there is a next time. My mind was racing at a million thoughts an hour; touching on everything and going on and then back again and out and back again and then in and back again... I had two lie-downs, one before we left and one at Mynxii's house, plus I kind of dozed at Sin for a bit too. At Mynxii's house and at home was the deepest, but I was allowing my self to be distracted; the bread machine going off so I had to get up and make buns, or aware that I was basically being rude to hosts while I was past out in the bed. I have promised I will be more together for the BB-athon tonight, but I don't know if I *am* more in tune with the me that we accept as me. At least with TV, I can manage activity during the ads, and for the rest of the time be staring blankly at the show. Plus I have lunch with Mum for her birthday today. Oh dear. Off to find some clothes. This could take a while. :-)
mynxii and saw some people and heard some music....but I really just should have stayed at home and stared at the walls instead of nightclubbing and staring at the walls. :-) As the first day of my period, I usually are in a fair amount of pain and can't live without my Asproclear within easy grasp. However, yesterday had very little pain, and no asproclear. The payoff was, though, that I was in the vortex. I was basically unable to cope with the real world, and once again I kind of wish I had cancelled everything for myself, sent cheshire out into the big bad world (I am sure
mynxii would have looked after him :-) and just sat around at home and stared at the walls. And if I danced, it made me sick, and I'd dissappear for a while trying to cope with that too. Spacing out in odd places in public is not fun, but could be if I was in a relaxed, comforting environment. I wonder what truths I would have learnt, what knowledge I have missed, and feel I did not appreciate the gift that this vortex should have been. I am a bad pagan, bad! Spanky spanky! Ah well, next time, if there is a next time. My mind was racing at a million thoughts an hour; touching on everything and going on and then back again and out and back again and then in and back again... I had two lie-downs, one before we left and one at Mynxii's house, plus I kind of dozed at Sin for a bit too. At Mynxii's house and at home was the deepest, but I was allowing my self to be distracted; the bread machine going off so I had to get up and make buns, or aware that I was basically being rude to hosts while I was past out in the bed. I have promised I will be more together for the BB-athon tonight, but I don't know if I *am* more in tune with the me that we accept as me. At least with TV, I can manage activity during the ads, and for the rest of the time be staring blankly at the show. Plus I have lunch with Mum for her birthday today. Oh dear. Off to find some clothes. This could take a while. :-)
