May. 24th, 2012

callistra: Fuschia from Sinfest crying her heart out next to Hell's flames (Default)
I have been reading up a little on Mindfulness and also Detaching Yourself from the Outcome, and so it's been buzzing away in the back of my head for a bit.

I would have to say that 99% of the time, I incorporate the elements of mindfulness into my life. This journey is *everything*. There's no point to focusing on a single goal to the exclusion of everything else. I am a firm believer that we only get one go in this life, and OMG one life is enough.

But sometimes, just sometimes, things throw us for a loop and we discover that we had issues within us that throw us out of our every day comfort and into some deeply uncomfortable waters. I had a freak out moment the other day that was so distressingly physical I was in shock. I couldn't think, couldn't react, couldn't do anything. It took about two hours before I could look at the source again, and awfully enough, the source that threw me? It was a catalyst, not an actual problem. There was NOTHING to cause the response I had.

Sometimes our brains can be a funny thing. I've never had such a response to anything like this before, and it was 100% in my head. There was no reason for the panicked freak out, and so it's hard to try and rationalise it away into a tidy little box. I don't usually have my life organized into tidy little boxes, but obviously there are some compartments in my head that are just a little too (OCD) tidy... and sometimes the drawers spring open when you least expect them.


callistra: Fuschia from Sinfest crying her heart out next to Hell's flames (Default)

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