I Want More!

[callistra]

Now I have TWO questions for you all! Two! And they only get harder from here on, you know...

Question one you have all seen before! So, what are you going to do today, just for you, yourself, a little bit of pleasure to make yourself smile? My plan for today is to catch up on houseworky stuff and ... here's the bit for me ... write! 2,000 words of guilty pleasures just for me! Bwahahahahahaha! For no one else! Just me! At least my characters have stopped sitting around and drinking tea. I mean, really.

So, tell me! What is for you, today? (You can even say "the same as the other day" if you have to.)

Question Two: Now that you know you've got something to look forward to, what about another person in your life? What are YOU going to do to make them feel special? Appreciated? Loved? Valued? Unique? Positive? My plan is to try and provide a clean house and yummy food so that when Chesh gets home, we can have a fun family dinner, and that afterwards Chesh can have some quality Zelda time or whatever he wants to do time, without worrying about putting the dishes on or cleaning anything himself! PLUS, I am going to tell him how much I love him and how much I value his part in my and Vinnie's lives.

Go on, tell me! What it is you are going to do, for any one else, today?

Comments

[kaths.livejournal.com]

I'm about to go and have a snooze before I head off into the city. The heat has just made me so tired, and I've done a lot of driving around the last few days.

Not doing anything for anyone else today, but yesterday I bought mum a new sturdy music stand, as she's sick of the cheaper ones breaking so easily and it's really frustrating her.

[lie-xin.livejournal.com]

Hmmm.....

I know people may think I'm a hard bitch. Proof I'm not. I'm going to tidy up the house today, do some gardening (yay!) interspersed with re-watching BG Season 2.

The other person I am doing something for is my husband. Tonight, the same as nearly all nights, I'll have dinner made for him when he gets home from work. I've already offered to drive into the city to bring him his lunch, which I thought he'd forgotten but hadn't.

Yesterday I went with a good friend to support and drive her to get a tattoo.

See! I'm nice! ;)

[hkneale.livejournal.com]

1. I'm gonna read a book. I've fallen off the wagon, so I might as well indulge. I also didn't go into work today. Oh, I could have, but after all the hours I've pulled, and the system is mostly stable, I don't see any reason to go in on a day I don't normally go in.

2. I'll clean the house. Now, this may seem contrary to the "get that special someone some flowers or something" but there is something magical about a clean house (cleaning the house is hell-on-a-stick but the clean house is lovely). I feel so good when I come home to discover His Grace has done the dishes or cleaned up something. It makes me feel nice and I know he feels the same way when I do it.

So clean the house it is.

This means:

1. Washed dishes
2. Done laundry (incl put away if dry)
3. Mopped floor.

[anniejs.livejournal.com]

For me, I plan to make a kiwi, banana, orange, and berry smoothie. For my mother, I plan to let her have some. Heh.

[angriest.livejournal.com]

I feel like such a 1950s husband.

G.

Oops, sorry about the length of this! :-)

[callistra.livejournal.com]

See, now that's an interesting comment.

I've always wanted kids, and I've always wanted to stay home to raise them, and it was a huge struggle for a while to realise that what I do at home is work, and what John does at work is also work, and that we contribute *together* to make a home. It just so happens that we're the 1950s ideal too, but John and I are careful that the cost to *us* is as low as possible.

That all pervading theory that home life is easy or a cruise or a cop out have obviously never actually tried to do it. My feminism is all gung ho for women staying home and raising kids and sending the men to work - if that's what makes every one involved happy. In some ways, the 1950s image of homelife (since everything I have read indicates the pics never met reality) is what I would love to aim for, but if any one ever told me that this was the only thing I was good for, you'd see the volcano from the moon.

The other side of that is the awareness of what the working partner gives up. Neither role is easy, and the working partner gives up on many small joys which are more easily recognizable than the small joys the working partner might get at work. (IE, small joys at home: baby's smiles, words, funny things s/he does spontaneously, firsts, and etcs and then small joys at work: rational conversation with adults. Less immediate responsibility for someone's life. The ability to finish a project in a time specified. The ability to change project, often just because you can switch your workload when you want to do something different.)

So while there is a lot of emotional furore about the 1950s housewife/working husband image, it has pros and cons just like everything else.

I would also argue that you aren't a 1950's husband because you *do* help your wife with the home making and I expect interact with her on a level which would have been unthinkable in the 1950s.

Hmm, very interesting to see what I have written, when really I just want to say "That's OK. Don't feel guilty, these things happen or sometimes, it's just the best solution for everything."
:-)

[mynxii.livejournal.com]

Question 1:

Today just for myself I called cricketk to see if she had time to pop out and have coffee with me. We had a delightful 20 minute interlude that was gorgeous. I love moments like this, and cricketk is someone I love sharing them with, conversation and quickly catching up, sharing and just more than anything, what I felt was... that we just 'stopped' and in this frozen flow of one moment, we were the only ones and the shared smile, shared pleasure in the company was obvious and overt - and, oh, so rewarding.

Question 2.

Today I am making dinner tonight for the Friday tv group, cos black_samvara wasn't feeling well yesterday and I grabbed bits and pieces to make shepherds pie last night (and completely forgot other ingredients :/) This means that it will be less hassle to organise food tonight, and hopefully not much cleaning up so that there is more time for enjoyment for everyone, but especially black_samvara and ascetic_hedony and juffles, whose house we're taking over for a few hours :)

Re: Oops, sorry about the length of this! :-)

[lie-xin.livejournal.com]

He he. I'm not a 1950's housewife cause I drink scotch and smoke pot, so I dunno who my husband thinks he's living with ;)

Re: Oops, sorry about the length of this! :-)

[splanky.livejournal.com]

You might still count if the scotch was hidden at the bottom of a drawer full of aprons :)

[kpbarker.livejournal.com]

Just for me I will stay on this detox program cause today I feel so good and full of energy!

And tomorrow I am going to spoil two people I care about with hopefully a good meal and good company, but at the very least neither of them will have to worry about cooking a meal or cleaning up afterwards.

[callistra.livejournal.com]

Wooo! Can't wait!
:-)

[willowgypsy.livejournal.com]

You are so delightful to think of this and to 'make' people do it - not that anyone is forced to, but your enthusiasm makes people want to please ... :)

Thank you. You Rock :)

That said, when I first read this, I could think of the answer for the first one easily, but for the second one my immediate thought was '..it's too hard just looking after me at the moment, I can't spare a thought for someone else right at this point in time...' (which is still partially true in my current emotional state)

But then... a strange thing happened... I was shopping for tonight, and I started looking for things for my hubby that were a treat for him that I knew he would enjoy. So... here goes...

1. A BIG group of girly-girls are going to Shakespeare in the Park tonight, we are having picnic and yummies and I am looking forward to it - and I went to the shops and bought special things for me too. Also, NOT doing any housework today, which is kinda ironic considering all the previous comments. I have been doing housework EVERY day for the last two weeks because I was home and felt guilty. But NOT today!

2. I bought him some yummy sorbet he likes, some really nice meals in the freezer for while I am away and have written him a love note to tell him all of that because I won't see him before I go out.

[strangedave.livejournal.com]

I've already enjoyed reading comics, and doctor_k_ and I have been to breakfast out together and been to see a dance/circus show at the Maj. Its looking to be a top day all round!

comment deleted and reposted due to dodgy link...

[babalon-93.livejournal.com]

or me: I had a Mediterranean kebab (which is made with deep fried Mediterranean vegetables instead of meat) from the uni tavern cause they make the best kebabs eva; and borrowed this (http://www.amazon.com/ladies-who-lunge-celebrating-difficult/dp/0868404217/sr=1-4/qid=1169187278/ref=sr_1_4/102-2189439-4279307?ie=utf8&s=books) book from the uni library (I also borrowed a whole lot of other books for uni work, but this one was just for me :) ).

for you: I made an icon :

Re: comment deleted and reposted due to dodgy link...

[babalon-93.livejournal.com]

and that used to be a smiley at the end of the post but is now just a colon, but I'm not redoing it a second time.

:)

[http://users.livejournal.com/doctor_k_/]

What have I done for me today? Plenty!
I elbowed a fellow registrar out of the way to get to be involved in looking after the little 33 week new born baby (born outside of hospital, we weren't sure what state she'd be in on arrival). A rare experience, an immensely useful learning experience, a beutiful thing to be inovlved in, and I was going to have it, not him, dammit!

I made Dave get out of bed early and follow me from place to place trying to find a suitable breakfast.
I saw magical things at the theatre.

For someone else special I have made little plans for a little holiday, paid for by me. Wait a second - that falls under the "Nice things for me" category. Hmm. Cooking BBQ diner for people tonight, that might count. If only I didn't enjoy it so much!

[meljane.livejournal.com]

I bought Ken some ferro rocher choclates while I was at work and I told him he great and that I loved him .

I really appreciate him more when I come across a friend that is treating their partner badly .

[lilysea.livejournal.com]

For myself, today - I started reading a new, frivolous, novel that I am really enjoying - read some on the way to work and some on the way home.

Yesterday - I bought myself some funky red paper from the paper store down in Woden for an art/craft idea I have. Am thinking about maybe making something for Swancon.

For another person - hmm, this one is hard, what with living alone and all. Tommorrow I am catching two buses out to see two friends who I haven't seen in too long so that they don't need to spend time & energy travelling. Does that count?

Otherwise... hmm. Everything I can think of - like calling a friend tonight - is stuff for me *and* stuff for them.

[lilysea.livejournal.com]

Now you have inspired me to think about how I can do more nice stuff for the people in my life!

It's funny, one thinks naturally about doing spontaneous niceness for one's partner, but not so much of doing spontaneous nice things for one's friends.

And it's hard to think what to do... Hmm. Will think on't.

Re: Oops, sorry about the length of this! :-)

[baby-elvis.livejournal.com]

... and if you drug of choice was barbituates.

[baby-elvis.livejournal.com]

for myself? i had an icecream. for others? i listened to my mother's delusions and my father's frustrations.

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