Stolen from Aki cos I'm bored

[callistra]

Gothic is a very obscure and often dangerous culture that young teenagers are prone to participating in. The gothic culture leads young, susceptible minds into an imagined world of evil, darkness, and violence. Please seek immediate attention through counselling, prayer, and parental guidance to rid your child of Satan's temptations if five or more of the following are applicable to your child:

Put an X next to things that apply to you, a + next to things that sometimes apply to you and a - by the things that don't apply to you at all.

[X]Frequently wears black clothing.
[X]Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.
Whenever I wear a tshirt in fact!
[X]Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick, or nailpolish.
Hey, I'm a ch*k!
[X]Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include: reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various other Satanic worshipping symbols.
A fat chick on a string?
[X] Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.
Um.. yeah.. time for another pair I think *grin*
[X] Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the Anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)
Uncle Mazza is *harmless* Give me my German DOOF any time! E Nomine and the Lord's Prayer is enough to send shivers up anyone's spine!
[X]Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.
Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, Exhibit A (How could I improve on Aki's response to this one?)
[X]Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA.
Sex?
[X]Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.
Aki says: at least I don't own a copy of Unka Bucky's Big Blue Book!
Calli says: Nothing wrong with Uncle Bucky's Big Blue Book o' Wicca. But then, I don't have a copy either *grin*
[+]Takes drugs.
Does alcohol count?
[X]Drinks alcohol.
Mmmm.... alcohol.... time for a drink i think.
[-]Is depressed.
[X]Complains of boredom.
Yeah, and?? After all the f*cking hormone's I'm getting off my single friends, *nothing* can hold my attention like a single male. *sigh*
[-]Sleeps too excessively or too little.
[-]Is excessively awake during the night.
[-]Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light.
[X]Demands an unusual amount of privacy.
Not that I ever get it, what is it about our cupboard, f*cking show and tell??? Not that I'm at all proud of the cupboard *grin*
[-]Spends large amounts of time alone.
Alone. That's like..... with no one else? Not even Kris (Brother in law that lives with us). Just me and chesh, right?
[X]Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may speak to evil sprits through meditation.)
I get to speak to evil spirits through meditation?? Am I doing something wrong then?
[X]Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.
LOL I can get into enough trouble on my own thanks.
[X]Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this.
I *am* an authority figure. And if you don't believe me, I'll wear my teacher's outfit and give you six of the best. (Will that be my quirt, my riding crop, the short cane or the stick?)
[X]Misbehaves at school.
School. *shudderrrr* the age of most of the terraconners was scary enough
[X]Misbehaves at home.
LOL gotta keep up with the husband!! Misbehaves *everywhere*!
[-]Eats excessively or too little.
[-]Eats goth-related foods. Count Chocula cereal is an example of this.
Goth related foods? Huh? *blink*
[-]Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be stopped immediately.)
[X]Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)
LOL! Watches TV! LOL! ROFL! No.
[X]Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.
Spider solitaire can get pretty violent if I'm not careful...
[X]Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.
Let's discuss the meaning of the word "excessively." What does excessively *really* mean?
[X}Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.
Like... um, headbanging to german doof?
[X]Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.
*bops to "I'm too Sexy..."*
[X]Expresses an interest in sex.
What sort of interest? Let's discuss "expresses an interest in sex" and how this delineates the asker's point of view about the possible responses to this question.
[X]Is homosexual and/or bisexual.
What about sheep?
[X]Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.
I think Pagans and neo-pagans are generically unable to become a cult due to the personality rivalries that exist. They're too fragmented to *talk* to each other, let alone sway each other to follow one another.
[+]Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "Woe is me", or "I'm a goth".
LOL what about if your husband has a badge that says ""I like it sloppy and weird"? I wonder where he got that, hmmmmmm?


If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene immediately. The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within it. If any of these problems persist, enlist your child into your local mental health center.
~St. Mary's Catholic Church"