Bat Phone - Help!

[callistra]

I have a friend whose husband has left her with two children and she is due to have her third baby in about three weeks. Her mum lives in Denmark, and has taken the two girls to give her some rest, but she has no one to help her with the birth. Her fucker of a husband won't be there, and she is depressed at the moment (understandably) and lives in Mandurah.

Does any one know of any sort of service that can help her, either by providing support or something? I can't get to Mandurah in any sort of decent time, plus I don't have the back up systems in place like I did for Splanky.

She is due in three weeks!

God I hate men sometimes.
This is the second time a man has left an 8 months pregnant woman with two previous of his children. If it's so fucking rare and we don't need feminism any more, then why the fuck does this keep happening? Why the fuck does a man think that a single night a fortnight is "parenting" or "fathering" a child? It's more disruptive than helpful, and really, I bet he will whine about child support and all that shit too. Fucker.

Comments

[splanky.livejournal.com]

Could she afford to hire a doula for the birth? I have no idea how much they cost.

I'd suggest ringing Ngala, the Parenting Helpline, and her local community Child Health Nurse and see if they have any suggestions. My Child Health Nurse has been wonderful with supportive suggestions.

[callistra.livejournal.com]

I don't think she can, but the other suggestions are cool.
:-)

[kaths.livejournal.com]

Does she have any spare money? If so, a doula would be ideal as they support the mother before and after the birth, as well as during. http://www.doulasaustralia.com/

Apart from that I'm not really sure, except getting as much information from the hospital as possible as to what after-birth support they offer (eg midwife visits), as well as Centrelink/Family Assistance Office for what payments she's entitled to, especially with her change of circumstances and making sure he gets chased as early as possible for payments.

I agree with you in general, but I also wonder about couples who choose to have a child hoping it will save their failing marriage, even thought it's a fact that it's more likely to do the opposite. Not saying that's what's happened here, but it does happen often.

[callistra.livejournal.com]

Wonder what about them? That they have no clue or are stupid? Or wonder how they came to that thought?

And yeah, it has nothing to do with the current situation. Why did it spring to your mind?

Just curious.

[kaths.livejournal.com]

Just wonder in general about why people can make such a momentous decision to have another child when they're struggling with their current circumstances.

Glad it doesn't have anything to do with this situation. Perhaps it wasn't appropriate to bring it up, it only sprung to mind because it seems to be relevent in a lot of cases where relationships break down and young children are involved.

But in those situations too, just abandoning the mother to deal with it all is also shitty - even if they're not in a relationship with the mother any more (for whatever reasons), that doesn't change their responsibility towards the children.

[callistra.livejournal.com]

even if they're not in a relationship with the mother any more (for whatever reasons), that doesn't change their responsibility towards the children.

Complete yes!

[redbraids.livejournal.com]

Grr, yes! One should still have responsibility to the child!!!

I wonder if part of the answer is in parenting / role-modelling for boys and young men? Often activities that try and catch behaviour in adults are more difficult. There is the need to start young and teach children to respect everyone, of both sexes. Parents, schools etc.

[callistra.livejournal.com]

Sounds good to me. How do we slip it into the curriculum?
:-)

[redbraids.livejournal.com]

Perhaps by teacher training?

Additionally, some of these issues about having balance in human relationships is folded into the panel that I have suggested for Gynacon... that both sexes get the short end of the stick and that a balanced view of understanding personal/life stages can help everyone.

Yeah, yeah, it sounds like I have been talking to M, but I have been reading about these issues for a while :-)

[fe2h2o.livejournal.com]

Early childhood studies... which is self selecting for those who are interested in babies... yr 11 and 12 girls for the most part.

It fits in the Health and PE learning area... but I don't know that a number of PE teachers are really the people for the job!

And _more_ things to teach in the classroom? There's already no time at all.

As with so many of the things that have been added in, they're ideally taught in the family... of course, for that to be effective, the parents have to have the skills or be willing to access them. And if they don't...? It doesn't work.

[purrdence.livejournal.com]

And _more_ things to teach in the classroom? There's already no time at all.

Quite.

In my evil little world I'd be having the boys doing Early childhood studies too.

[chaosmanor.livejournal.com]

Futher to the doula suggestions, when a partner of mine walked out on me when my first child was tiny, ABA (http://www.breastfeeding.asn.au/), which was then called Nursing Mothers, helped me out with emotional and practical support. I know the local ABA group I was in also had a collection once, for one of the mums whose partner had threatened her and her children with a weapon. We raised the airfares for her and her kids to fly east that same day.

[callistra.livejournal.com]

Now that's awesome.

[chaosmanor.livejournal.com]

I learnt feminism through ABA. You wouldn't believe the organising power of 20 or 30 exhausted women with sore nipples.

[callistra.livejournal.com]

I was thinking of joining the ABA. I'm a bit scared. :-)

I was also thinking of joining the CWA.

[kaths.livejournal.com]

Dunno what they're like now, but many hours in my formative years were spent at Nursing Mothers meetings - my mum was the state president at one point I think :)

Some of my earliest memories include of watching mum help someone with breastfeeding, and also going to a talk (refused to stay at home with the babysitter) and seeing pictures of breasts projected onto a screen. That's all I remember from the talk!

Anyway, if they're in any way the same, they can be a fantastic support group and have lots of resources.

[linstar.livejournal.com]

Family Support Service - Mandurah
Mandurah
Located at Mandurah
Mandurah WA 6210
Telephone: 9325 5111
Fax: 9325 5112
info@redcross.org.au
Freecall: 1800 810 710 Country callers
Mon-Fri 8.30am - 5pm

Aims to provide friendship information about parenting and practical assistance to families with children less than twelve months of age who face extra challenges in their parenting role.

Fremantle Women's Health Centre
Fremantle
114 South Street
Fremantle WA 6160
Telephone: 9430 4545
Fax: 9430 7862
fwhc@iinet.net.au
8.30am-4pm (Mon-Thurs) 8.30am-3pm (Fri - administration only)

Provides health services counselling and workshops for women by appointment only.

Mandurah Community Health and Development Centre
Mandurah
63 Ormsby Terrace
Mandurah WA 6210
Telephone: 9535 1644
Fax: 9535 8711
Mon-Fri 8am - 5pm

Aims to work with individuals and families to promote health prevent disease identify health problems and intervene early to prevent the development of chronic conditions. Encourages people to make informed decisions about their health by providing them with information and support.

Rockingham Low Cost Food Centre
Rockingham
Unit 4 29 Hurrell Way
Rockingham WA 6168
Telephone: 9592 6060
Wed-Fri 9am - 12.45pm

Aims to supply food and household commodities to people on low incomes. The service is staffed by volunteers.

Rockingham Womens Health and Information Centre
Rockingham
61 Council Ave
Rockingham WA 6168
Telephone: 9527 8221
Fax: 9527 8662
womenhcr@bigpond.com.au
Mon-Thurs 8.30am - 4.30pm; Fri 9am-3pm

Aims to assist women in the community with their physical and emotional health needs.

Department for Community Development (DCD)
Mandurah
Sutton Square Corner Sutton and Tuckey Streets
Mandurah WA 6210
Telephone: 9535 6688
Fax: 9581 1126
Mon-Fri 8.15am - 5.00pm

Committed to strengthening families and communities through the provision of a range of services to families and individuals.


I don't know if any of this is helpful hon, but these are the contacts we have...

[callistra.livejournal.com]

That is brilliant. I will forward them on to her.

[huckle.livejournal.com]

The Red Cross were a lot of help to a friend who went through the same thing and ended up having a bit of a breakdown. They brought around casseroles for every evening for a while, helped out with cleaning, babysitting so she could get to the shops.. generally a heap of support.

[ascetic-hedony.livejournal.com]

Parenting line keep a database of services, with several available in Mandurah.

[callistra.livejournal.com]

Thanks hun! Be seeing you shortly!
:-)