Feeding the Beast

[callistra]

Beast: Feed me!

Sarah: No problem, there's computer paper around here somewhere.

Beast: *petulantly* How could you let me get hungry?

Sarah: Ugh! This is heavy!

Beast: Yummy Paper! I will crunch noisily!

sarah: F*CK that's loud. *shuts doors.* I'd better check the out tray and make sure it's settling nicely.

Beast: Heh. *pause* Heh. *pause* Heh. *pause* I will print faster.

Sarah: F*ck it's going all over the place!*starts trying to bend computer paper faster than it can be printed on*

Beast: Heh. *pause* Heh. *pause* Stupid feeding girl. wonder if I can print faster still?

Sarah: F*cking paper do what you're bloody well told. *paper everywhere, all attached to itself by virtue of being old style computer paper in a continuous run for all 1000 odd pages*

Beast: Feeding girl funny. Serves her right for letting me go hungry.

Sarah: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! *puts paper on TOP of printer to fold it into nicer bits.*

Beast: Chatter chatter chatter I can print faster than she can fold ha ha ha ha ha.

Sarah: I WIN!!!!!!!! *shoves folded paper quickly into printer*

Beast: Stupid feeding girl.

Comments

[numbat.livejournal.com]

Crunch noisily? The word you're looking for is crepitate. Tell the Beast it's crepitating and it'll probably be so surprised it'll stop tormenting you, for a moment at least.

[japester.livejournal.com]

so when it's fixed, or silent, its decrepitated?
the short form to wit, decrepit.

[numbat.livejournal.com]

Indeed. That sums the situation up nicely.