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When I was younger, I used to have the birthday blues. You know, the sort of "Wail, angst, I'm turning XX and I've never done anything with my life...."
I think most people would know what I'm talking about.
But after a few years of this, I remember I turned 20 or 21. And I started having the birthday blues. "OMG, I'm turning 21, what have I done with my life??" and then I actually *thought* about it. By 21, I had finished writing three novels, read almost every book in my highschool library, consistently one of the top people in the readathon, completed most of my degree, had a car, a job, and some interesting boyfriends, organized and run several Fairbridges (camps for 10 - 16 friends, food and accomodation included), saved up and went to Bali on my own money without any help from any one, been on a variety of committees, treasurer for POGS and helped set up the paperwork for POGS, helped run Dominion .... For 21, I'd actually done quite a lot.
So now, about to hit 30, i wonder again, what have I done with my life.
Well, I've got a wonderful husband, a fantastic house, great cats, heaps of amazing friends, more freedom and license than I've ever had, I know more about myself than I ever knew was possible, and so many new skills and stories to tell. My writing fell by the wayside as I learnt to write for uni, but you get that. I've fundraised, organized, and run a Gothic Ball, and learnt from that, too. I've learnt how to handle computers better than I ever wanted to, hardware and software wise, but it has also given me the possibility of a career. I've been pregnant, however breifly, and it was a heartwarming and frightening experience. I've done sexual things I never dreamed I would ever even contemplate, let alone DO! My life is so full of fantastic things, and I want other people to share these fantastic things with me. More Fairbridges organized, more planning, Cheshire's organizing a con, and I'm sure I'll get sucked into it however I've been *asked* to help with a different con and I'm so flattered to be approached! Yay, they want me! I've worked out where some of my gifts lie - definately the organizational thing. I just love it. *grin*
I feel like I have plateaued in one direction of my life, and I'm cherishing the richness and diversity of the life I've already had. I don't believe in re-incarnation because it's a cop out; it's an excuse to not live the current one to the full. Isn't one life enough - it damn well should be, it's full of amazing and vibrant things that you only need to stop and appreciate.
And I wonder, gently at this point, and without my habitual headlong enthusiasm, what's going to come to me next?
Calli
PS, yes, I know plateaud is not a real word. But you get the idea. *grin*
Plus, some of my pre-21 activities are more likely to have been pre-22 or 23, but way back when I was a young'un at any rate. And I'm sure I've missed heaps of stuff all over the place.
I think most people would know what I'm talking about.
But after a few years of this, I remember I turned 20 or 21. And I started having the birthday blues. "OMG, I'm turning 21, what have I done with my life??" and then I actually *thought* about it. By 21, I had finished writing three novels, read almost every book in my highschool library, consistently one of the top people in the readathon, completed most of my degree, had a car, a job, and some interesting boyfriends, organized and run several Fairbridges (camps for 10 - 16 friends, food and accomodation included), saved up and went to Bali on my own money without any help from any one, been on a variety of committees, treasurer for POGS and helped set up the paperwork for POGS, helped run Dominion .... For 21, I'd actually done quite a lot.
So now, about to hit 30, i wonder again, what have I done with my life.
Well, I've got a wonderful husband, a fantastic house, great cats, heaps of amazing friends, more freedom and license than I've ever had, I know more about myself than I ever knew was possible, and so many new skills and stories to tell. My writing fell by the wayside as I learnt to write for uni, but you get that. I've fundraised, organized, and run a Gothic Ball, and learnt from that, too. I've learnt how to handle computers better than I ever wanted to, hardware and software wise, but it has also given me the possibility of a career. I've been pregnant, however breifly, and it was a heartwarming and frightening experience. I've done sexual things I never dreamed I would ever even contemplate, let alone DO! My life is so full of fantastic things, and I want other people to share these fantastic things with me. More Fairbridges organized, more planning, Cheshire's organizing a con, and I'm sure I'll get sucked into it however I've been *asked* to help with a different con and I'm so flattered to be approached! Yay, they want me! I've worked out where some of my gifts lie - definately the organizational thing. I just love it. *grin*
I feel like I have plateaued in one direction of my life, and I'm cherishing the richness and diversity of the life I've already had. I don't believe in re-incarnation because it's a cop out; it's an excuse to not live the current one to the full. Isn't one life enough - it damn well should be, it's full of amazing and vibrant things that you only need to stop and appreciate.
And I wonder, gently at this point, and without my habitual headlong enthusiasm, what's going to come to me next?
Calli
PS, yes, I know plateaud is not a real word. But you get the idea. *grin*
Plus, some of my pre-21 activities are more likely to have been pre-22 or 23, but way back when I was a young'un at any rate. And I'm sure I've missed heaps of stuff all over the place.
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no subject
Date: 2004-04-02 03:22 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2004-04-02 05:15 pm (UTC)From:and when is big 30? we must celebrate such an auspicious event in the style it deserves ;)
Actually, my birthday is in december
Date: 2004-04-03 06:50 am (UTC)From:11th december, my place, starts at 6:00, I don't know yet if there is a theme, be prepared to drink, eat and meet relatives. But it's ok if you're not too polite to them.
:-)
I have to go and scowl at the garden a few more times before I consider it "too late to do anything about it now".
:-)
calli