callistra | Ooo, an Interesting Meme, lifted from Numbat

One societal norm that I can think of is I don't think it's a good idea to have kids in this day and age .

Sorry if this causes offence .

I'm not disagreeing with you!
:-)

However I would also point out that statistically, we still have the same levels of crime and rape. It's just that now we have mass media and millions more people.

guess it depends what you mean by societal normals, and who your society is..

according to everday society, the flout I'm thinking of is normal

according to university students/feminists, it is a big evil nono
(I want to get married and have kids and be a stay at home Mum)

I always did too.
*grin*

And I have made things so that I am!!

Yay life!!
*grin*

And feminists who think that staying home and raising children is a nono should get a kick up the arse, and sent to read

ginmar until their eyes bleed. It's all about choice! I actively and consciously choose to stay home and raise children.

All the feminists I know are actually what I think of as "ground floor" feminists these days. Women who deal with feminism every day, in the every day world, rather than academics and students who might not realise what does happen outside the uni structure. And on feminist_yay and feminist_rage, no one would DARE suggest to you that what you want is a big no no!!

(deleted comment)

i think its perfectly fine for people to not have kids, though i see what you mean - i just get the opposite (eg why do you want to be a slave to a man and children?)

Isn't it funny how people just say things, and never actually think about what they say?

And funnier about how they don't really listen to our answers anyway and just wander off looking puzzled...
*grin*

is that a jibe at me or just a general observation?

Why would it be a jibe at you? What have you done? Would you like it to be?

???

*confused*

i thought you were saying that _i_ was one of those people that dont think about what they say and dont listen to peoples replies anyway...

which, some of the time i am, but obviously not here :P

Besides, I usually have to know the person before I can make rude comments about them.
:-)

And I'm not a jibe type, I'm more of type to tackle any problems head on. Once I've decided there is a problem and it's not all in my head.

perhaps jibe was the wrong word, more 'tease' i think.

ohyes, sorry, i forgot to introduce myself...

I'm Kate, we have friends in common, and your lj is interesting to read so I added you.

I'm at uwa doing honours in english, and am a unisfan.

That's cool, I checked you out when I saw you'd friended me.
*grin*

So, do you reckon

maelkann is hot or what???

*evil grin*

And shouldn't you be terraconning right now? I joined unisfa last year for Terracon. I think I wrote a thousand or two words on the experience...

Ooo, and people think I'm interesting??? Cooo!
:-)

maelkann's cute, but i wouldnt say hot :P

i dont like terracon. been twice and had a crappy time both times.

I never wanted to get married and have kids .

I would say I'm a feminist , a very laid back feminist .

I hated some of the comments I got from when I was engaged to Ken "Are you having kids soon "? "Why are you getting married if you're not having kids ", the last comment annoyed me the most .

Another comment was "Oh you'll change your mind some day "

Some people just find hard to deal with the possiblity that not everyone is going to have kids and that some people aren't cut out to have or just don't want to have kids .

It no wonder I'm such a hermit , people really get on my nerves *crawls back into cave*

*cuddles you*

i respect you and your opinions :)

*pulls you back out of the cave for more cuddles*

Have you read the book "Child Free Zone" by David L. and Susan J. Moore? It's about couples who are choosing not to have children and about the bias they face by friends, family and the rest of society. It has some great suggestions on having to deal with people saying you will change your mind or that it's not natural to not want kids etc.

Never heard of it before , I might look in to into ;)

(deleted comment)

I've gotten it out of the public library system, so you could hunt it down that way, or buy it online.

Tracked it down at a library near me ,thanks :)

Problem is the book is not an easy one to track down :(

I just tell people that kids soak up valuable DVD buying money and they shut up.

LOL

If I was getting married and got the "why are you getting married if you're not having kids" comment then I would seriously lose my temper with the idiot who said it. What a ridiculous comment to make!

I have never been gladder of the fact that my parents have put no pressure on me at all to get married and have kids. They know I don't want any and are accept my choice. At this point in my life I'm happy with that choice too but I also accept that there is the vague possibility that I might change my mind, albeit very unlikely. I hate it when people (usually men, I might add, and people that don't know me very well) are condescending enough to tell me that I *will* change my mind. Really? And you hide your crystal ball where? Up your ass maybe? It sure as hell isn't going to happen by accident (thank you Implanon).

The point is that you have made a choice and, regardless of your reasons, people should respect your choice. People choose not to have kids for all sorts of reasons and I respect that choice far more than the decision to have kids just because it's the done thing or because the church tells them to (would they raise the unwanted child for them? I think not. God may love all the little children but he doesn't feed them or pay the bills or change their nappies etc) or because their parents want grandchildren or because the government will pay you to have them. (I wonder... our illustrious PM says that we should have one child for mum, one for dad and one for the country, which at the current rate of $4000 per child is $12,000. If I send him my uterus so that he can have as many children as he wants with it, do you think he'll give me S12,000?) Children deserve to be wanted and loved more than anything else in the world, and should be brought up in a nurturing, loving, educating environment. If you don't *want* children then the choice not to have them is the right one for you and for the child (or would be child ... you know what I mean). All kudos to you for making an informed, intelligent choice.

Talking of intelligent choices, I was reading a trashy mag at lunch today and it had an article about a woman who was pregnant with quads. They were her miracle babies. Doesn't sound to strange I hear you say. Well the woman's husband had a chromosomal abnormality which meant he was sterile so the only way for them to have children was through IVF using a sperm donor. Multiple births and IVF... still not that odd. Their first child, one little girl, was a difficult labour and the woman almost died in childbirth. You'd think after that they might have been delighted that mother and daughter survived and leave it at that. But no they decided to try again. The second pregnancy resulted in quads... but this is not the set of quads that she is pregnant with now... THIS IS A SECOND SET!! Is this woman insane?? How irresponsible is it to be bringing a further 4 children into the world when you already have 5? And since they are all conceived through IVF there are no accidents. I know that people used to have big families but there is no need for that in this day and age. How are they possibly going to provide for 9 children? I know they will be loved but that doesn't pay the bills and put them though school and all the other things that you need to do for children. Children are expensive! I'm sure that they are worth every penny but 9 of them??
And just for the record, I don't want to have kids because I don't like them, have a low degree of tolerance for them and I think I would make a poor parent. As I've said before, children deserve to be wanted and loved, and they deserve good, tolerant parents.

OK, I think I've ranted enough now :-)

That woman you were talking about is an Australian woman that was on a Current Affair program talking about how great is that she is expecting quads again .

The Doctor that provided the IVF treatment is in alot of trouble over that IVF treatment to that woman cos of the multiple birth second time round.

The couple in question , he is a security guard , she of course doesn't work(with all the kids she really can't anyway ) and they live with his or her parents .

When I saw them on the news and on The current affair show I was so angry .

I remember saying to Ken it’s people like them that stop people like us wanting to have kids , I know it’s sounds silly but I was livid with anger I was speaking in terms of non -sensible language .

I didn’t know before that she almost died in child birth with her first birth , that woman is a lot stupider than I thought she was before .

Most intelligent people would think “hmm gee I nearly died , I think I’ll just stick with having one child “.

The first lot of quads had lots of health problems due being born premature and she wants to go through that hell again.
I think she needs a psych test done her cos , she sounds plain nuts and the husband doesn’t sound all that sane either and crazy and stupid is a bad combination and way more dangerous than intelligent and crazy .

With nine kids she is going to most probably going to get money from Centrelink , which of course comes from the taxes of the workers .

I think some people have this attitude that not having kids makes you less of a person and that your missing out on something vitally important .

Because of it was the done thing to do in my parents time have kids so should I , otherwise I should have stayed single , hmm got to love it when people's logic is so screwed up that they don't notice even when you point it out to them and my parents are pretty screwed up anyway (the last people that should have kids).

I've looked at the cost of having kids and yeah it's pretty scary , I 've commented to Ken that if I was pregnant now , we end up going hungry alot after the kid was born and the baby would make a good roast (not that we'd eat babies anyway, (too fatty anyway ;))

I was too much of chicken to say anything to the people that made the comments over us not wanting to have kids and getting married , I think I was shocked at the time .

Wow I've never known anyone to have the same kinds of views as I do , it was great to read your views .

My ranting is done for now .

I don't want to have children.
I am not heterosexual.
Periods are a part of life and I don't subscribe to western medicine stepping in to rid me of them for the sake of 'convenience'.
I refuse to use tampons.
I don't eat animal products.
I never have used 'The Pill'.

I hate periods , to me they are just an annoyance but trying to stop them causes alot of problems .

I hate tampons too .

I'm glad I have the pill , pregnancy scares me and the other contraceptives have too many glitches .

my clothing *grin* skirts are nifty and heels are actually comfortable for me.
erm ..... not much else that I can think of ...

except regimented religion. can't stand that power structure.

choosing my relationships, enjoying them for everything they are, and not making them fit into a nice little definition. Its quite simple, what works between me and that person, is what goes. Nothing else.

choosing in general... choice and the ability to do so, being able to access information to do so is amazing. that whole 'why' thing... but i find the more fascinating question for me is 'why not?'

i do want to have children, i even want to stay home with them, but i want the choice to change my mind...

being individual, learning through certain people's influence (looking directly at you here) to be proud of it and to make no apologies for it, to make it work for me, instead of against me as much as possible... i must have learned something becuase it is all starting to come to fruition, i am seeing results.

idealism. i don't buy into the cynicism and sarcasm that seems to be overwhelmingly abundant. I like my view that not only is the glass half full - but its a glass and its shiny and wow!!

- I don't want to have children (but I think we might have already covered that one,Ahem)
- I like boys and I like girls. Since I find both attractive why limit myself, especially when I'm so fussy! However I don't flaunt my bisexuality because I don't see the point. It's my personal choice, has nothing to do with anyone else and I don't feel the need to make a fuss about it. (It also works out well coz my boyfriend likes girls too, LOL)
- Finding a partner is not the be all and end all and does not make one's life "complete". You make your own life complete and the right partner complements you. That's not to say that I don't enjoy having one (I take immense pleasure in it and love him deeply) but I certainly *can* live without one and still enjoy life.
- I'm a woman who can read maps without turning them around. LOL. Now that's not normal!
- I'd like to think that I make my choices in life with a mind to not hurting others. This may not sound like it is flouting societies norms but I think our society is a selfish one.
- I like rubber, even though I can't afford it and don't really have the figure for it.
- I believe in indoor cats in Australia. An indoor cat is a safe cat.
- I'm a woman working in IT. That's definately not normal if you take the whole of the IT industry in to consideration.

hehe, just re-reading my post this morning and it has occurred to me that the vast majority of my friends wouldn't find my half my list list that odd or not normal.
I love my friends, thank you all for being so wonderfully not normal!

Heh, same POV from here..
*grin*

I don't want children, ever.

I think everyone should do something creative, like writing or music or art.

I'm vegetarian, but I don't care whether other people are or not, and have no interest in preaching.

Owning a house is not the defining goal of my life.

I have absolutely no interest in watching sport, or hearing the results.

I think art is several orders of magnitude more important than sport, and that writers, playwrights, artists, sculptors, should receive at least as much fame an adulation as sportspeople.

Ah yes, the Australian obsession with sport. Y'know I've been here for over 20 years and I *still* don't get it. Don't get me wrong, I like sport but the arts are so much more enduring and endearing. Art enriches the collctive human soul!

S	M	T	W	T	F	S
		1	2	3	4	5
6	7	8	9	10	11	12
13	14	15	16	17	18	19
20	21	22	23	24	25	26
27	28	29	30	31

An Exploration of Love, Space and Boundaries

Ooo, an Interesting Meme, lifted from Numbat

Page Summary

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags